Thursday, October 6, 2011



People may seek physical seclusion to remove distractions and make it easier to concentrate, reflect, or meditate. However, this is not necessarily an end in and of itself. Once a certain capacity to resist distractions is achieved, people become less sensitive to distractions and more capable of maintaining mindfulness and staying inwardly absorbed and concentrated. Such people, unless on a mission of helping others, don't seek any interaction with the external physical world. Their mindfulness is their world, at least ostensibly.

Today is Oct 7, 2011 Thursday night.... Through every storm there is a rainbow. I know that, its been a constant theme in my life. Tonight I took a hot bubble bath, lite my new candles I bought today at CVS, I bought a new scent.... thats rare... Im not one for change... I always get vanilla, but today i didnt. Interesting? To me yes! why? The fact that Im so open to try and do things differently is pretty incredible. Not my character, well at least it wasnt. I have despised the color pink for most of my 35 years of life, Im a fan of black. But I bought a new luggage set and I choose PINK. So I looked up the color pink to see what it represents...

Color Pink

Pink is the color of universal love. Pink is a quiet color. Lovers of beauty favor pink. A pink carnation means "I will never forget you".

Pink Energy

Pink is a combination of red and white. The quality of energy in pink is determined by how much red is present. White is the potential for fullness, while red helps you to achieve that potential. Pink combines these energies. Shades of deep pink, such as magenta, are effective in neutralizing disorder and violence. Some prisons use limited deep pink tones to diffuse aggressive behaviour.

Pink provides feelings of caring, tenderness, self-worth and love, acceptance.

Put some pink in your life when you want:

  • calm feelings
  • to neutralize disorder
  • relaxation
  • acceptance, contentment

Pink gem stone properties

Pink gemstones can be used to promote love, self-worth, order and protection from violence or aggression. Carry or place pink gemstones around your home or office to stimulate love and beauty.

Interesting ha? It makes sense... I am in a new place, a new mindset... heart and soul awareness... I even wore a pink tank top the other day to the LA County Fair and loved it! lol Go figure. Who wants to live life the same exact way till the day they die? Where is the fullfillment and joy in that? I love routine... but I want to experience life in its varies colors. I have a black and white, all or nothing kinda girl for so long... Im kinda tired of it. I am tired of looking at life out of MY STUBBORN lil box. In the book, "The 7 habits of highly efffective people', One of the habits is....

LOOKING OUTSIDE YOUR BOX: Thinking outside of the box requires a person to be willing to think past accepted concepts and perspectives, to strive for the different. Thinking outside the box means seeking creative ideas. This form of pondering requires practice.

    • Develop a new approach to solve problems. Be open to new possibilities that don't conform to the conventional ideas. Go beyond normal and look for alternative wisdom.
    • 2

      Explore all your options. Don't settle for the first thing that comes to mind. Look at every angle by viewing things from a clean pair of glasses.

    • 3

      Be a good listener and you'll hear things you've never heard before. The opinions presented could lead to solutions so listen carefully when someone is speaking.

    • 4

      Determine not to settle for status quo. Strive for the unconventional ways, reach for the stars, be unique. Don't be afraid of people placing judgement it's a lesson for us all. That's thinking outside of the box.

    • 5

      Practice thinking opposite of what comes natural. If you're trained to see the glass half-empty then see it half-full. If money never mattered then live like it does. These experiments will help re-train the mind to re-frame your thoughts

Why does this appeal to me? because Im tired of certain patterns in my life repeating. Really? Im honestly so over it. So cool, Im ready to listen. Im open to do things differently without any kind of fight or struggle. Well, lmao probably with some slip ups!!! No ones perfect, and its time for me to accept that and allow people to be unperfect without any expectations of what I think they SHOULD BE.

Being anything than authentic to myself today makes me feel yucky!! It will start to weight heavy on my heart and soul, and I will recognize the mask that I wear, and instantly want to rip it off and throw it off the empire state building. Blahhhhhhhhhhh... :::stinky face::: I am my worse critic and no one can beat me up worse than I can. No point in that, there is no victim, and no one cares for a fucking pity party. Suck it up, and learn. Honestly re evaluate and start over at any time.

All I know is that I want to do right to the authentic me. And right now, that means taking a sabbatical from dating, relationships, temporary fixs, and any kind of casual sex. ZERO interest!! ZERO.... feed me mind, inspire my soul... All the superficial bullshit and anger, and pain, is getting old. Just repeating same fucking pattern. Ive never taking time in my life to myself, to be in solitude. but my soul is yearning for it right now. Investing all the energy I put into loving someone else, into loving myself. Taking myself to a fancy dinner, drawing myself a hot bath, writing myself poems, being gentle to spirit right now. Theres so much love around me, I am investing in my family relationships and cherishing my friendships. surrounding myself weith those who build me up, inspire me, who are examples of integrity. Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking. No ones perfect, I know when my character defects are in full throttle, I recognize it. Doesnt take too long for me to feel like an ass, and realize exactly what I am doing. I might not be the best at saying sorry, today I'd rather show it by action. Sorry is just a word. Goodnight


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  2. :::giggles::: Please dont use my Real name on my Kiara blog or you will get deleted Sweets :) xoxo


  3. What a disarmingly honest blog. Deep and broad, to boot. I have to admit, you've piqued my curiosity beyond the usual eyebrow-raise due to your vids.

    Looking forward to reading more.

    P.S. Have you ever had anyone pen erotic literature for/about you?

  4. Interesting introspective, have you thought perhaps that perhaps in a subconscious way, your choice of pink and understanding it's meaning might be telling you to not forget yourself?

    We spend a significant amount of time going about the culturally accepted cycle, that we forget ourselves in the process. It's fantastic you are now stopping to ask yourself questions rather than cruising on auto-pilot :) sometimes to break the cycle, as with most learned behaviours it takes a good couple of years! Don't let that dishearten you, the reward is much greater than the annoying part of disciplining yourself through that time!

    Sometimes a good way to train yourself (if meditation is difficult) is to be around animals for a while, a dog/cat/etc. Animals live in the moment, and when we interact with them... we become engrossed in it too. If you can learn to recognise this state/emotion and use it, you'll find far less stress in your life and the ability to focus - especially when you stop to ask yourself a question rather than doing the auto-pilot thing :)

    ... on that note, i'm asking myself how the hell I got here and what prompted me to read your post... let alone reply! Hmmm mysterious lol. Well in any case, I hope this is somewhat useful to you :)

    Dave D