Tuesday, January 10, 2012

"Loving beyond my capabilities"

"Loving beyond my capabilities"

Do I dare reveal my inner most thoughts?
Let down my walls of coldness Ive mastered in the last 35 years of living
Im not the one to open up, expose, divulge
Years upon years of silence
Lips paralyzed
Speech impaired
Vulnerability my biggest fear
Pride poisons
Ego my venom
crippled by my past
My eyes cry for you
that you will never know
My hearts broken
that you will never know
My lips say, "I love you"
that you will never hear
On bended knees wishing you were back
that you will never see
Thinking about you day and night
that you will never know
wearing your tshirt to bed every night
that you will never see
Me running back saying, "I fucked up"
that you will never hear
A prisoner of my own silence
That I will have to live with...


Its a new year... taking myself to the next level in all areas of my life. Pushing and challenging myself in the areas that make me uncomfortable. God knows vulnerability is not my forte when it comes to love. I want to be that open, vulnerable, fight for love, on bended knees type of girl I always looked as and judged as weak. It starts now, practice makes perfect and I want to be ready for my NEXT. Going in deeper than I have ever gone. Taking myself to an even higher dimension... "FOREVER" dimension... and it starts now, with myself. The more I express and communicate it now... the easier it will be once the time comes to say it from my lips... it will flow freely instead of walking out on the one I love cause my EGO and PRIDE. Refuse to make that same mistake again... all about that next level shit! Lets do it! Im ready! :::brushing off shoulder::: Evolving........................ beautifully :)